On 4 November 1979, when I was 14 years old, a whole bunch of angry Iranian students seized control of the U.S. Embassy in Tehran for the next 444 days (i.e., until 20 January 1980) held hostage 52 citizens of the U.S. Those citizens were held hostage, though technically (being an embassy) on American soil, in Iran.

On Monay, 1 May 2006, we shall, apparently, be held hostage again, here on our own soil this time. If all goes according to the plans of organizers, so many latinos will walk off their jobs and refuse to shop or otherwise patronize business (there are even calls to shut down entire U.S. cities) that America will be brought to her economic knees Edward James Olmos says this will teach us all a lesson. As a consequence, their demands regarding immigration reform shall be met without delay. (Mexican lawmakers have issued a declaration of support for Monday’s boycott, which angers me because of what Mexico would do if a similar stunt were attempted in their country.)

And of all this to live in a country which is a terrible as the Center for American Progress says it is. But I digress.

Now, typically, when one walks off the job one no longer has a job. As I was driving into work this morning I heard an interview with a Chipotle executive. Chipotle has assured its workers that if they walk off the job on Monday they will still have jobs on Tuesday. In fact, restaurant managers have asked employees that if they are planning not to show up for work on Monday they let management know so that staffing arrangements can be made. In other words, “If you’re planning to sodomize me can you let me know in advance?”

Hey, Chipotle! How much is your country worth, you buggers!!!

You can ask both my wife and my mother: all this has taken me off the fence. I have been, inwardly, very friendly to immigrants from the south, legal or illegal, until recently (like when I learned of Los Zetas conducting ops here on our soil). No more. Come here and then try to take me hostage? It may less even than a token, but I celebrated my last Cinco de Mayo last year. Hell, Mexico wouldn’t have had a Cinco de Mayo to celebrate in the first place if not for the help of a country they now want to bring to its knees. (Our history with Mexico is not entirely one of “stealing land” from them. Once our Civil War was over, we began supplying Mexicans with weapons and ammunition, with which, by1867, they finally defeated their French invaders. Invaders. How ironic.)

So what do we do? Normally, I don’t do “movements”: I don’t like fads. But my family and I will be engaging in Super Shop Monday (or whatever it’s called; I heard Laura Ingraham talk about it). Everything we normally do at the weekend, both shopping, eating out, going to movies and so forth, we shall be doing on Monday. Now on one hand that will be fine; businesses should do fine. But service may be lousy. I don’t care. Hell, I’ll serve myself, bag my own groceries, whatever. And I’m xerascaping my yard (just bought a new house). Not that there was ever a worry there. I’m not afraid of tools and machines. Here’s my attitude: I’d rather have lousy service than to be held hostage in my own country, by people who tell me they demand to be exempt from our laws or else.

Oh. One more thing.

ATTENTION WELFARE RECIPIENTS AND LAZY BUMS: WE HAVE NOW REACHED THE POINT AT WHICH GETTING UP OFF YOUR BUTTS AND WORKING A JOB IS TANTAMOUNT TO DEFENDING YOUR COUNTRY. SO, GET UP, GO GET A JOB AND DEFEND YOUR COUNTRY!!!

HOOAH!!!