James Frank Solís: Oh, it was a joke! I get it.

01 November 2006

Oh, it was a joke! I get it.

10:20 AM

The aforementioned insult to members of the military wasn’t. It was really a “botched joke” referring to the President. That’s what John Kerry is saying, in addition to saying that he’s being ‘swiftboated’ again, and that Republicans are afraid to stand up to a real veteran (meaning, of course, John Kerry, who many people don’t know served briefly in Vietnam). Effing Whiner.

You see he left out the word ‘us.’ The last phrase of the supposed insult (i.e., “…you get stuck in Iraq”) was really to have been “…you get us stuck in Iraq.”

On one hand, this is probably the best attempt at a save he could try to pull off. I mean, most people remember (from the 2004 presidential campaign) just how well—to put it honestly, if not bluntly—he just down right SUCKS(!!!) at jokes. Now, either John Kerry has no idea just how well he SUCKS(!!!) at being funny, in which case he’s not as bright as he wants us to believe he is, or he knows exactly how well he SUCKS(!!!) at being funny and tried it anyway, in which case he’s not as bright as he wants us to believe he is. There is, of course, another alternative: John Kerry meant exactly what we think he meant, in which case he’s not as bright as he wants us to think he is.

But does the botched joke baloney really, uh, cut the mustard? If it really was an attempt at a joke then John Kerry really is as stupid as he thinks we are. Let’s say that he really was talking about the President. Kerry asserts two general alternatives: (1) get an education and do well, and (2) get [us] stuck in Iraq. This means that you do one or the other, but not both. According to the logic that Kerry himself sets up here the President didn’t get an education; he just got us stuck in Iraq. But in humor, there has to be some truth involved in a joke. And the truth is that the President and John Kerry both went to Yale, and the the President’s grades were a little better than John Kerry’ were. So the President (giving John Kerry the benefit of the doubt) has done both of the two alternatives Kerry set up.

Kerry’s stupidity? He set up what is called a false dilemma. So, if it was a joke he botched it in two ways: he left out the “…got us stuck…” and he set up a false dilemma.

Here’s a dilemma: (1) either John Effing Kerry is both a liar and not very bright; or (2) John Effing Kerry is either a liar or not very bright.

But he marries well.

Like I told The Master Gunner (see the comments): I’d rather be stuck in Iraq with the TankerBrothers than in the United States Senate with John Effing Kerry.

Now that’s funny.

One more thing: We are supposed to give John Kerry the benefit of the doubt. I have a two-word response to that joke of an idea, two proper nouns actually: Trent Lott. Let’s give John Kerry the same benefit of doubt that was given to Trent Lott.

(Heard this on Laura Ingraham’s show this morning. A caller says: If John Kerry thinks that the American military are intellectually challenged, then he is perfectly qualified to lead them. To tell you the truth, even if I were to stipulate to Kerry's assertions about the military, I would still insist that he's not qualified to lead them.)

Editorial Post Script: The references to 'John Effing Kerry' come from Senator Kerry himself during the '04 campaign. However, it occurs to me that for obvious (I hope) reasons I should probably stop doing that. So I will. This supposed to be a family oriented blog after all.

Oh, it was a joke! I get it.

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