I was talking to an acquaintance at church on Sunday about why people blog. We all have our reasons. Mine? I was encouraged to do so by a friend. I keep doing it because it's fun, it keeps me reading and thinking, and every now and then I get an email or a comment that encourages more thought. I like that sort of thing. And I don't get out much.

On the way home from church I heard Nickleback's "Rockstar" and the idea for this parody came immediately to mind.


BLOG STAR

(Roughly to the tune of Nickleback’s “Rockstar”. Caution: The meter is very tricky in some places.)

I’m through with hanging on the line
for shows I’ll never get on
It’s like the stupid lottery
that I’m never gonna win
My job hasn’t always been
What I’d like it to be

(Tell me whatcha want.)

I wanna drop this hammer
Buy a pimped laptop
And big fat chair that I could live in
And enough TVs to watch
All the news at once

(So whatcha need?)

I’ll need a satellite dish and tivo with it
No. Direct TV. Yeah the sky’s the limit.
Gonna quit my job and
blog full-time like Captain Ed

(Been there. Done that.)

I want to get email from Carol Liebau
And my blog linked on Carter’s blogroll
Getting tons of hits and links
Twenty-four hours a day

(So how ya gonna do it?)

I’m gonna trade this life
for the Ecosystem
Join some alliance,
Try to keep up with ‘em

‘Cause you know I just wanna be a big blog star
Read by Hannity and Hewitt and Ingraham
Even Rush Limbaugh’s gonna know who I am
That brainy hot chick who pissed the godless off
Will have my name on her lips as she falls asleep
And she’ll have sweet dreams about marrying me
Even dear old mom’s gonna read my blog
Tell all her snobby friends who said I’d never go far
And I’ll –

Hey hey I wanna be a blog star
Hey hey I wanna be a blog star

I wanna be like Steyn but without the accent
(Or maybe just like Lileks with all that sarcasm)
Write a couple cheesy books
And I can have them published here

(I like this one for the jacket photo.)

I can parley my blog
Into a talk show gig
Get a daytime slot on a blowtorch station
Gonna sit in for Limbaugh
When Williams can’t do it himself

(So how ya gonna do it?)

I’m gonna trade this life
for the Ecosystem
Join some alliance,
Try to keep up with ‘em

‘Cause you know I just wanna be a big blog star
Read by Hannity and Hewitt and Ingraham
Even Rush Limbaugh’s gonna know who I am
That brainy hot chick who pissed the godless off
Will have my name on her lips as she falls asleep
And she’ll have sweet dreams about marrying me
Even dear old mom’s gonna read my blog
Tell all her snobby friends who said I’d never go far
And I’ll hob-knob with the Higher Beings
I’ll settle for a ranking right behind Michelle Malkin
It won’t make me any money but it’s fun a while
And everyone will have me on all their blogrolls

Well, hey hey I wanna be a blog star

I’m gonna write those posts
That offend the liberals
Gonna choose my words
To piss off the Europeans

I'll get brown-nosing students
Writing all my posts
Put my name to them all
(You know the Instapundit does)

Well you know I just wanna be a big blog star
Read by Hannity and Hewitt and Ingraham
Even Rush Limbaugh’s gonna know who I am
That brainy hot chick who pissed the godless off
Will have my name on her lips as she falls asleep
And she’ll have sweet dreams about marrying me
Even dear old mom’s gonna read my blog
Tell all her snobby friends who said I’d never go far
And I’ll hob-knob with the Higher Beings
I’ll settle for a ranking right behind Michelle Malkin
It won’t make me any money but it’s fun a while
And everyone will have me on all their blogrolls

Well, hey, hey, I wanna be a blog star
Hey hey I wanna be a blog star